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Joann Brush Testimony

When I was asked to write a testimony for the fundraiser this evening, a setback for the past two days dealing with doctors, spending a little time with family, and I still got a long road ahead of me, I kept going over and over in my mind what I could say to let you know what I'm grateful for and I came up with 1 million reasons but one thing I can say is, God is guiding me through every obstacle there is.  Sometimes I'm a little lenient on Him, sometimes He's a little tough on me, but I take the good with the bad these days.  I believe no matter what obstacle He puts in front of me, He gives me choices, and with Him by my side I seem to make all the right choices.  But I have come a long way.

March 2019, I was diagnosed with cancer.  On March 6 of 2020, I was incarcerated in Western Tidewater Regional Jail.  During the course of that time, I fell short.  I couldn't believe that God put this upon me.  I also realize that I had a choice.  Most people don't understand the choices I've made.  Some of them good; some of them bad, and some of them not even, "What was I thinking?!"

September 23, 2020, I went to Middle River Regional Jail.  From the day I stepped into that facility, I started feeling better about myself trying to get myself back the way I was.  Caring and understanding, being in the community again, trying to lend a hand, trying to be supportive.  I don't know what happened to me the day I arrived there, but for some reason it was like a whole new door opened for me.  I was facing things that I had done in the past; accepting what I had done; accepting the choices I had made; and then, I met this beautiful woman, Louise Jennings.

When I started talking to her, it was like a whole new light.  I wanted to be more like her in God's eyes.  Because I knew from that day forward, she was a true follower.  She was a blessing to me.

I don't wanna bore everybody with all the ups and downs of my situation, not only being incarcerated but also battling cancer for the past four years.  Today I am having surgery and I cannot be here to see you this evening.  I'm not very good at putting all my situations into words.  I'm learning every day.  The learning experience for me, I grew up with the Lord was that I loved the Lord all my life, but I thought just loving Him was enough.  But it's not:  it's devotion; it's caring; it's being a part of the community.  Things I fell short of for around 15 years.  But I know today, no matter what comes down my path, I will accomplish it to the best of my ability.  I know that I cannot live each day without waking up and thanking God for me to see another day.  Now I have one more obstacle in my way and I will tell you about it.

In August 2019, I decided to take my life.  I can't tell you why.  I have been through a lot and I literally just wanted to give up.  I've never been a drug addict, but my brother was.  He had just ended his life a year ago, and I was cleaning some stuff out of his apartment, and I found some of his drugs and some of his syringes.  I don't know why I didn't throw them away that morning, but that night I wrote a note for my animals and also my home to sign it over to a dear friend who had been there for me but was also the cause of my incarceration.  I will not get into that.  When I put that needle in my arm, I saw a white light open up, and I saw my sister telling me that it wasn't my time yet.  According to the sheriff, my friend rode by and couldn't understand why my car was in the parking lot at 2 o'clock in the morning, and something told her to turn around.  She saved my life by calling the sheriff.  So I believe God worked through her and me, and also sent my sister to tell me that it wasn't my time.  I know that's hard for people to believe, but when you see things like that it makes you look at life differently.  Now I still have a lot of obstacles in my way, due to the course of me trying to end my life.  I was charged with possession of cocaine.  I still have to face that battle.  I haven't gotten that far yet, but I know through my support group and Triple A and God, no matter what they put on me, I will be able to handle it and I will do it with my head up and a smile on my face.  I will enjoy the Lord 's embrace around me, because I know He will protect me.  God is good; He's amazing if you just give Him a chance.  If you let Him in your heart, you can do all things with Him and I am living proof of that.

Thank you and I'm sorry I couldn't be here.

December 2019

Dear Kingsway Ministries,

It's a blessing just to keep hearing from you.  You are very loyal to us prisoners.  I've moved around a lot, but God is with us.  I feel ashamed because, even though I've been faithful to prayer, study, and church, I have not reached out to you with/any appreciation for how your ministries have given me strength and encouragement (in the name of Jesus).

I pray that (as you already go) you continue to keep me in your prayers.  Pray with me over my strength, my families, friends, and church in the name of Jesus.  I do hope that one day we will be able to join you.  I love you, and appreciate all that you have done.  Thank you.  Praise God for having you in my life.  God bless your family.

Your Brother in Christ Jesus,

Eric L. Hughes

P.S.  Happy Holidays!

A Changed Heart

by Judy M

          “Let’s get this over with!” I grumbled to myself as I helped the church chorus set up equipment to sing at the prison.  The smile on my face didn’t match the thoughts clamoring through my mind.  “What are we doing here?  These men have gotten exactly what they deserved,” I murmured silently. Such was the condition of my heart as I climbed the risers to begin singing praises to our Lord. 

          We were half way through the first song when the Lord addressed the hypocrisy of what was occupying space in my heart and what was being proclaimed from my mouth.  As I sang, I saw an image of Jesus out of the corner of my eye. He was standing in the midst of the prisoners with his left arm extended out as if embracing the shoulders of the 200 men who were present.  “These are my people - I love them.  Can you love them too?” He asked firmly, yet with compassion and love.

          His words pierced my heart deeply and I began weeping uncontrollably throughout the performance.  Using up all the tissues in my pocket, I proceeded to use the sleeve of my robe to wipe my eyes and nose - I was not a pretty sight!  As I stood crumbling emotionally on the risers, my brokenness evident before all, I silently prayed, “Oh God, I have been forgiven of so much.  You took a broken, ugly life of sin and freely offered compassion and hope.  I’ve been shown so much grace. How could I be so unforgiving of others who have been ensnared and crushed?”  I ached inside as he brought conviction regarding the judgment coming up out of my heart for those who had been imprisoned by the deceit of the world.

          After the program, with tear-swollen eyes and quivering voice, I shared what had happened.  I told them how Jesus held them in his arms, proclaiming his love for them.  Then, from a changed heart, I asked them for forgiveness for my condemnation and judgment.  The men I had condemned stood and clapped as they freely forgave and hungrily received the declaration of God’s love for them.  I somehow felt their pain in my spirit and it reminded me of my own torment from the choices and actions of the past. It’s a torment that reaches down inside with devastating shame tearing away at our very being.  Yet, somewhere in those dark and lonely places we all long to believe that there is something within us that is worthy of being loved.

          I left the prison with joy in my heart that night but God wasn’t finished with me.  You see, the very people I had resented became the people I wanted to serve.  The cynical arrogance within my heart had turned to love and my husband and I began ministering in the prison every Friday night for more than two years. We were blessed over and over again by the very men I had deemed as unworthy.

         Hosea 11:8 says, “My heart is changed within me; all my compassion is aroused.” And 1 Cor. 13:4-8…”Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

       Thank you, Lord, for the tears that cleansed by your Spirit, bringing purity to see as you see and to love as you love.

Yes, it does feel so good. God has done nothing but bless me since I have gotten sober. I have been home for three years. I haven’t touched anything for 2 1/2 years. I have a beautiful apartment; I have nice things. Don’t want or need for anything. I have a husband that adores me. I have the sweetest little dog and cat, and my family actually believes in me and supports me, and God has never left me through any of it. I could not be happier; and in a month and a half I will have the sweetest little boy to look up to me and I have never looked more forward to anything in my life. I love you, Ms. Jennings, and I am thankful that you have always stayed in contact with me even in my worst of days.

Megan B.